Dogs Suck at Practical Jokes . . .

Monday, April 03, 2006

Last Saturday, as an April Fool's joke, my brother's dog violently destroyed my sister's cat.
Nobody in the family found it very funny. I think that the dog was going for "funny on a cosmic level," but it just didn't work.

My sister, who has had some previous problems with keeping things that she loves alive around her (boyfriends, previous pets (who were also killed by dogs), etc) has been crying for two days straight. My mom isn't faring much better. My dad, who was the one to pull the dog away during the disembowling process, described it as the worst thing he's ever encountered in his entire life. My brother is very wisely keeping himself and the dog out of sight.

I'm not doing very well myself. I only knew the cat for two months, but it really, really grew on me. I'm not a cat person, but I really came to love it. It was, far and away, the cutest, most personable cat I'd ever come across. She made Tibby (my old roommate's cat, who I also like) seem like a Nazi taking a dump on a baby. She was just really, really adorable.

Unfortunately, my brother's dog is also really, really adorable (in that wolfish way). I love my brother's dog too. Only now, I don't know how to react to him. I know he did what he was genetically programmed to do: Attack, kill and eat anything outside of his gene-pool that's smaller than he is. In that way, he was a good dog -- but he was also a bad member of the family. Family members don't slaughter and consume other members of the family. It's rude.

So, I'd like to pour one out to my sister's cat.

Tzilla, wherever you are, I'm sorry we can't play anymore. You were a great cat, and I'll miss you forever.